no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
