Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
