My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
