Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
