I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
