im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
