So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
