You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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