so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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