lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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