She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
