Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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