Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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