my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
