Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
