She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
