Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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