I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
