I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
