Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
