Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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