I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
