Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
