Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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