He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
