and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Bring me that man meat
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
