The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
