We got so high we made milksteak
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
