I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
