it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
