my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
