five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
