You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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