I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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