Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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