She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
