Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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