I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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