Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
