how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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