i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
