I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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