You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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