As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
