Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
