Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
