addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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