What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
