did you get engaged???
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
