sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
