11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The air taste purple.
Randomize
