Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my sisters under your porch take her home
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Still dying that you shit outside
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
