he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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