His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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