i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
